Here's the Thing

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Amazingly, I am currently going through a relatively stable period psychologically speaking.  My body, never one to be outdone has instead screwed with my blood-sugars and I have spent the past two weeks using every witch parts of my fingers to test my blood-sugars and ensure they are at a safe level.  Joy.

Despite the few weeks of calm, my current Therapist (yes, you read that right, I was told that I had to go to therapy) has declared that I need a Care Coordinator (I read this as yet another appointment to go to) as when I am not stable I am at a high level of risk..... Fair enough, no real argument there, but then, I am stable right now.  So a small part of me wonders if it is too little, too late.

I got the referral letter in the post during the week and as with all types of letters, I am currently struggling to get my head around what it says about me.  Least of all because its own lack of grammar implies I have more than one boyfriend (which I don't - I am a strong believer in monogamy).

... is experiencing problems associated with severe depression and anxiety with dissociative hallucination.  It is also possible, according to her psychiatrist, Dr X, that X is may experience co-morbid or underlying emotionally unstable personality disorder.

Sorry, but this is the first I have heard of a possible BPD diagnosis... surely they should tell me these things, before passing it on to me in a referral letter??

It is hard enough at times to grapple with severe depression, anxiety and hallucinations... It threw me through a loop when my Psych first suggested I may want to consider anti-psychotics should the hallucinations not improve (they have, btw... yay) but just as things seem to be settling down for me for once (they don't do that often) I get a letter saying I may have BPD....

Now to throw myself through the wringer in an attempt to figure out what that may mean for me going forward.


I will come back when my head is spinning a bit less and I can think in more straight lines.